I’ve dug up an old blogpost and revamped it; as part of my contribution to May on the Move 2024 (TheExpatPartnerCoach on Instagram).
“How have you benefitted from having relationships with people who are in a different season of life than you?”
During a recent get-together I had a few moments when I had to blink away a tear. My drama teacher -Stan- turned 85 and threw a birthday bash. I was intrigued; I wanted to know more about this gentleman who was still actively working in ‘the winter’ of his life. I’d known Stan only for 9 weeks, nevertheless I received an invitation. Delighted I attended the party and in retrospect I am glad I attended. At the party Stan shared anecdotes of his life, his friends joined in and addressed him on his special birthday. One of his longtime friends sang this song to him. It’s very old and oh a so very slow song, but holds so many truths.
It was an unusual and interesting get-together. After everyone had filled their bellies with BYO snacks, the activities section of the evening commenced. Various people performed sketches and songs on stage. Towards the end of the evening, sat in a circle, we took part in theater warm-up exercises. Once again I realised how much I enjoy theater and the expressive arts 🙂 ) Sat in the circle we experienced a brief contemplative moment of silence. This was the most touching moment as there was a sense of togetherness with people who had never ever met.
Stan shared his 85 year long timeline, which was read out by friends. Amazing: 85 years summarized in a few minutes. It was heart-warming to hear how much he had meant to many people, changing their lives by introducing them to theater. He was also a civil-rights/ women’s rights activist and an advocate for other socially progressive causes. What I admired in Stan was that he genuinely engaged with people and, in his own way, tried to make the world a better place. An interesting detail I learned was that until 2000’s he had worked as a psychotherapist, for which he acquired his clinical psychology degree in his 50s!! Overall it was a touching experience and it made me realize how each person’s life is unique. Maybe this is what planted the seed for my curiosity to hear elderly peoples’ stories (or maybe that’s always been part of my nature).
While living in Boston I took part in a book discussion group. I clearly remember this other wonderful example of someone who was young at heart at the age of 88. Maggy had been a houseparent (warden) at MIT. In a convivial and captivating manner she shared numerous interesting stories with me. Currently, living in the Netherlands, again I have enrolled myself in a book group. The other participants are all elderly ladies, which shouldn’t come as a surprise cause our meetups are on weekdays. Most women of my age are at work. That’s when I comprehended the privilege of being self-employed; I define my own working hours. These elderly women (70+) share different perspectives on the biographies we read, based on their own experiences from a different epoch. All of them seem like interesting souls, who enjoy connecting with other and sharing a love for books (on strong women).
But don’t jump to wrong conclusion here ;-). I don’t only hang out with oldies, definitely not. I’m in my 40s with a young son, which means many of my fellow moms are way younger. Sometimes this makes me feel old, when I see my grey hairs, but in general it allows me to ‘be young’ and go dancing. Dancing is one of my favourite past time activities. My self-employment is in the field of Science education (STEAM), which means I interact with primary school kids a lot. Their curiosity and inquisitiveness is contagious and keeps me young. Interested in the world around and plunging myself in the unknown.
Interacting with people in ‘different seasons of their life’ is what makes life dynamic and interesting. Hope you too are able interact and connect with people of all ages.
Shakti Hannie 